The “Why-Nobody-Likes-You” Model

When I was in University, the Stats class had to be the hardest and most boring ever. The good thing that came out of that class however, was a model from me to you, to better understand the “Theory of the Chase”. Now, this is just for laughs but it does make a lot of sense in my experience (and from many of my friends)!

It is important to remember that ranking of people are quite subjective (especially at both ends of the spectrum. I do however believe that there still is a general consensus on who is attractive. Attractiveness scale of 1-10 is based on subjective factors such as looks, wealth, intelligence or whatever it is people have fetishes for!

On the left hand side of the bell curve, we have the “less attractive” people. Typical less attractive features (but still subjective) are: Ugly Ducklings, “big-boned”, broke, poor, empty vessel

I know at this point, many of you would be disappointed/ upset about all this but let’s not pretend the world isn’t judgmental. This does not reflect my preference or not either, just general consensus!

On the right hand side, we have the more preferred, general consensus of what “attractive” features would be: Swans, Wealthy, Good- Looking, Great Body, intelligent

In the middle, we have the general consensus of people who are seen as “average” in terms of attractive. The red line right in the middle represents the people who are obviously as spot on in the middle as possible, Let’s call them “red liners”.

Basically, if you rank someone (or yourself) on this bell curve, you will notice the following might ring true:

1-3: Nobody really runs after you, this allows your personality to shine. You aren’t intimidating to talk to. People might dislike you for no reason (maybe because they don’t like some of your unattractive features) or like you for no reason (might be real, might be condescending). The advantage of being in this category is that you can run after the 4-7 and/ or 8-10 category people because you have nothing to lose and with this strategy, you will always date up.

4-7: You’re average and fortunately in the game of “Why-Nobody-Likes-You”, you’re most probably the most highly sought after category. If you’re a red-liner, in this game you are the cream of the crop! The girl next door, the simple girl who doesn’t like to wear make-up, the guy who is so grounded and down to earth, the guy who is never boring, the people who are not intimidating. You’re approachable, attractive enough to be approached and because of this, many people want your digits! Averagers generally date up, date down, date whoever they want because they can generally have whoever they want. The sheer number of people after you means your confidence is unfazed!

8-10: Thanks to your level of attractiveness, you’re probably seen as “intimidating”. Because of this, you’re a little better off than the 1-3ers but not the averagers in terms of people chasing you. You might be asking yourself why you have “butt ugly” people chasing you and not 8-10ers, but that’s because they have nothing to lose and are going all in and in your case, because  of just that… you’re seen as intimidating and unapproachable because of how attractive you are, this has messed up your confidence. Some people don’t like you out of jealousy but they will not admit that to themselves. Sadly, you’re most probably going to end up not with a 8-10 or the highly sought-after averager but the ugly ducklings, unless everyone you hang out with are in the 8-10 category. If that’s the case then, there will be a mini version on this model and you might not be an 8-10.

Well, that’s it peeps! If you have comments and improvements or disagree,  I am willing to hear you out if you express yourself in a peaceful manner!

Who Stays and Who Goes? Algorithm for Who to Have on Your Facebook.

I’ve been having very busy but productive days. Still, I am not rocking at everything. My diet is still out of whack, I am still fluctuating between 57-58 kg (I am using a digital scale so those decimals count for everything)! Life has been busy, life has been hectic, life has been stressful, life has been hard but life has been kind and I am blessed. I resumed work this past Thursday after a week off to complete my EFR and Rescue Diver courses (and take a bit of a break to do nothing) and spent Thursday and Friday being rather productive.

I think it has been a little over 2 weeks that I have been off Facebook and Instagram. I am still on LinkedIn and Twitter. I deactivated my accounts because the number of friends and family I have on Vs. the number of people who actually like my shit don’t tally.  And yet, the second I post something up and someone who didn’t like my shit sees me in real life, they comment. No offense bu F U. The only people who seem to like my stuff are my immediate family and family from my dad’s side I barely know.

I am not ready to give up social media completely, but I am ready to give up social media in terms of having superficial friendships. I do not need FB to remind me about your birthday, but people have actually apologized telling me they didn’t know it was my birthday because they didn’t see the notification on FB. I’m sorry you’re just not that good of a friend to me!

I used to have so many people on FB. I have never hit the 1000 mark, I think my maximum must have been around 500-700 (I don’t recall). Until recently, I had about 360 something) but now it’s around 132! How did I decide who stays and who goes? First, let me tell you a few reasons why you might want to consider getting rid of some of the “junk” in your “trunk”. I am not convincing anyone to delete people on FB, I am merely guiding those who don’t know where to start but want to delete people, on my strategy.

  1. There are a lot of scammers today. If you do not know the person personally or at least know 100% that they are legit in terms of who they say they are… they need to go. For the safety of yourself and your connections.
  2. People you barely know save your photos in their PC. I didn’t know this happened but I have friends and acquaintances who have actually admitted that they save my photos sometimes… without my permission!
  3. If you think they don’t like you, that they are a “hater”, you should not keep them in your FB. Doesn’t matter if you have the best life ever and you want to show it off. Stop being a hater yourself. You don’t need that negative energy around you.
  4. Learn how to let go. An ex is an ex. Someone who was your best friend 5-20 years ago, who you barely know today, is someone who is better left in the past.
  5. You need to stop minding other people’s business too.

The Who-Stays-Who-Goes Concentric Model

1: Immediate Family (parents, siblings, spouse, kids)

2: Close friends (at present, not eons ago), close family/ relatives

3: Friends

E (Exceptions): Relatives you barely know but can’t delete, partner (new or old)

So basically, you should visualize a concentric model (if you want). Think about where you will put the person you are considering keeping or deleting. If they don’t belong in the first 3 rings of your life, they don’t belong in your FB. Colleagues and acquaintances belong in your linkedIn (or even instagram). That of course, depends on what you use Facebook for. If you use it to share stuff with people you feel care about you, then you can use this model. If you use it to lurk around then… F U. I hate lurkers! But I guess that’s what people will over 500 people do in there! And I have met and meet a LOT of people in my life but trust me when I say… If you can’t ask them of $5 when you are in serious need, they don’t have your back.

Emergency First Response (EFR) and Rescue Diver) Certification- PADI

That’s it! We’ve completed our Emergency First Response (EFR) course (practicals+ exam) and Rescue Diver (practicals+exam)! Now just waiting for our certifications to be processed! Who ever said you can’t try saving lives both at work and as a hobby? Hmmm… For those of you looking for a new and short hobby… don’t forget to learn CPR and first aid! You get certified in just a few days max! What a wonderful way to spend some free time, update your CV and more important than anything… potentially give someone who needs your help a fighting chance at full recovery/ save their life! For those of you looking for a more long-term hobby- recreational diving!!!

It was enough studying, enough practicals (wasn’t too bad) but it was very interesting. It made me realize how I first signed up looking at this as a stepping stone to the Rescue Diver course and of course, the rescue diver course being a stepping stone to the divemaster course… but it’s so much more than that! It’s learning the skills and techniques of potentially saving lives!

If you are a diver or non-diver, I would highly recommend that you sign up!

Mid-Year Resolutions 2018

I didn’t write down or even think about what I wanted to change in my life in 2018. I welcomed the new year with a lot of energy to work and despite the strong and weak days, I don’t think half of the population in this country has achieved the goals we had initially set on January.

The good thing about life though is that every single second you are given to live, is truly a gift to reconsider many of your life decisions and choices. Every single second is a new second for positive change.

Here are a few things I would like to change about me:

1. Sleep better: I know many and most people would say thus but my sleep patters might just be the worst on Earth. I know this because I’m awake when the rest of the world’s nocturnal people have also gone to bed.

2. Appreciate my friends more: But they all seem to be dating people/ married etc. and you know the truth about friends… They gossip with you and about you and can’t keep secrets… So what’s the point other than someone minding your business? Many also tell you what they think you want to hear and not what you need to hear so might as well stick to a blog.

3. Drink more water

4. Exercise more

5. Write more

How to Simplify Your Life

Dear Netizens

Have you ever thought about how much of an absolute mess your life is? How most people you know seem to have it all figured out and you don’t? Same here. I have days and months (rarely years) where I feel as though I am in control and then I just seem to lose control of everything- my weight, my work, my place, my laundry… For me, it’s cyclical.

When was the last time I felt I had it all? Back in 2009 when I had absolutely nothing. I didn’t have ANYTHING and yet, I felt very stable somehow. I had quit smoking, I chose the path of being better and not bitter, I reached my target weight by drinking soup and eating only 2 crackers with that one cup of soup everyday… despite the ridiculous low caloric intake, I was also exercising- Jillian Michaels “30 day shred” and was consistent with it. Very unhealthy way to lose weight and tone up but I can share with you a sad fact that, that was the only time I reached my goal weight in the last 15 years.

Fast forward to 2018, I have almost everything I thought I would never have, a suitcase full of “paper”, a good job, a lot more money in my bank account… and perhaps being a student and a student’s lowly stipend is one thing that helps keep those calories low!

This brings me to one very important realization I’ve had over the years (applicable to me at least): the more I have the more I want. The more clothes I have, the more I seem to buy, the more shoes I have the more I seem to buy… and I am not even the type of person (anymore) who cares about being seen wearing the same clothing in a span of one month! It’s all about comfort and hygiene to me! I might wear the same pair of jeans in one month but I will never wear a pair of jeans more than once without it having a nice wash in the washing machine! I can’t understand how people believe it is acceptable to wear jeans again after wearing them once but find it unacceptable for shirts? I am pretty sure the heat, sitting everywhere that’s filthy and just the fabric itself makes jeans dirtier at the end of the day than a shirt! This might deserve a scientific study.

I bought this book “How to Simplify Your Life- Seven Practical Steps to Letting Go of Your Burdens and Living a Happier Life” by Tiki Kustenmacher and Lothar J. Stewart. I always seem to start reading the book but then never finish. This isn’t because it’s uninteresting… I just find it hard to commit to because of how my life has been over these last few years.

I am committed now to learning these 7 steps and would love to give you guys a brief book review with my comments during and after so stay tuned! Even if I have read some pages of the book already, I’ll work on a more elaborate opinion on the book before really writing my thoughts on it. All I can say so far is that it seems to be worth the read!

Over these last few days, I have started dumping clothes I don’t wear into this large garbage bag to give away. It isn’t that I don’t love some of the clothes in them, many are also relatively new… worn once or twice or brand new. Some were also given to me and I don’t necessarily identify with the style. I have another batch of clothes to dig into and then onto the shoes! I find it rather liberating to get rid of stuff. Also, I am sure there are people out there who might need them more than I do.